Some People Are More Self Conscious Than Others And Deal With An Unrelenting Inner Voice. Which Creates A Mental Struggle Empowering Performance Anxiety.
This can happen in any setting. Public speaking, sexually, conversationally. It happens in sports all the time. Performance anxiety is more about the discomfort of the situation and the pressure put on oneself to be at their utmost best, rather than it being about the outcome. The outcome is just a byproduct of the former. Sure you may stutter in your speech. Or in sexual situations you not be able to perform like the dynamo you wish yourself to be or at all. In sport you may have an enormous lead that is squandered because you got deep into your head.
It’s Not About You, It’s About The Environment You Create.
Maybe you have witnessed someone have performance anxiety. Did you create a more toxic unwelcoming environment? One where you cast blame and shame the other person for not being their best? Did you guilt the other person with some outside culprit that may have no baring on the situation? Just to make yourself feel better.
Or did you create a calm welcoming environment one of acceptance and peace? One in which the outcome matters not. Sure you want a certain outcome. All parties involved want the best possible outcome. But when dealing with someone that has retreated into their head. You need to release expectancy of that outcome, in order to get back into the present. You need to create an environment of comfort, forgiveness and gratitude for the effort at hand. Be thankful just for time this person has given you.
This Goes For All Anxiety Not Just Performance Anxiety.
Never press an anxious person to stop being anxious. Don’t ever chastise or condemn them. Never assume what is causing the anxiety. Just simply find an environment that is best suited for their needs in the moment. Maybe change the subject to a more relaxed free flowing one. Sometime simply just being with them helps. Give comforting touch if they need it and it helps. Move locations, get outside. Offer to try again later with no pressure. In sports they might take a time out or give the player the night off. Something about the stress of the situation is getting to them. Take the pressure off.
It’s all about assisting in quieting that inner voice so the outer performance can come through beautifully. Some need assistance getting there. Be the creator of the positive environments. If anxiety is happening near you often you are creating tension around your environment. Change that environment.