When Others Try To Help Sometimes We See It As A Burden. And How That Help Is Only Going To Make More Work For Ourselves.
We can’t look at it this way. We have to see it for what it is. Help through the kindness of the other person’s heart. Even if it does require more work out of you. You have to fight the urge to think of it as a burden.
I have a glowing symbol of this on my back patio. A wood burning stove that was never installed. It was gifted to me by my ex-wife It’s no surprise now why she is an Ex. Because all I could see in the moment was how this was going to create so much extra work for me and added expense. But for her this was a very loving gift. She knew I wanted a wood burning stove in the house and went out a found one for me and bought it. It never was installed and over time that old “burden” became a new issue, a new burden. How am I going to sell this heavy fireplace? Or that’s how I chose to look at it.
I did it far too many times. She would want to help assist me with projects like install some flooring or other household tasks. And I would let her frustratingly but that attitude shined through brightly. Because I could not see the forest through the trees I did not see how my actions of seeing another as a burden hindered our progress. To me it felt like it was complicating the process in the moment to add another hand. But looking back, me thinking that helpful hand was a burden was massively detrimental to the relationship. And it always will be no matter the context.
When someone offers assistance don’t think of it as a possible burden. But as a way this person is trying to show love and affection through their actions. Because once the idea of something becoming a burden outweighs thinking them as an asset. You will lose.
This happens with children and parents especially. Children love to help and to be a part of what your working on. And most of the time we think they’re just getting in the way. But we need to accept this form of love they’re sending us.
This concept tends to be quite difficult for introverts. Who prefer to do most things on their own. It’s a battle between ways of showing affection. An introvert needs to see assistance as love. And extrovert can sometimes show love to an introvert by leaving them completely alone. Which is just as hard to see as love.
No matter what, anything you think of as a burden has a funny way of departing your life for good. Which should come as no surprise. It was burdening you, or so you thought. And when you look back you just might say to yourself I wish I accepted their love better.