The Selfish Act Of Having Children #197.

Unless You Truly Believe That The Children You Have Will Save The World. Or Cure an Incurable Disease. And You Do Everything In Your Power To Guide Them To That.

Otherwise the children you have created was from a self-centered focus. I know this may be a difficult pill to swallow. No one wants to believe they were acting in a purely egocentric manor. By committing the self-serving act of having a baby, or starting a family with the one they love. But it is a selfish act and there is nothing wrong with that, own it.

Children Are Consummate Consumers

Children are pure consumption for nearly the first 18 years of their lives. They produce absolutely nothing but waste and use up valuable resources. So why is it that most of us want them so bad at certain points in our life? It’s because they add so much to your life. And that is the point here, they add to YOUR life. They probably bring joy to others as well and hopefully they do but that was not the sole purpose in you having them.

Maybe you had your child because you thought it may give you meaning or purpose in life. Perhaps you had your child because it was written into your genetic code. That in order for a species or family to live on you must procreate. Is it possible you had your child out of unconditional love, both to give and to receive? Maybe you had your child to save you from something, be it yourself, drugs or a broken marriage. Many people try this tact, which is far more selfish. You now place that burden to carry you, upon your new addition to the family. I hate to say it but all these are selfish reasons.

What Was Your Reason For Having Children?

Children New Baby
Photo by Nynne Schrøder on Unsplash

Possibly you didn’t even mean to have your child. Which is highly selfish in it’s own right. Because you acted irresponsibly and now this child you brought into the world wasn’t even wanted in the first place. And you may choose to stay self centered and outsource that child’s upbringing to another. Those are the truly selfless, the ones who care for others children even when they didn’t create the life. The great step parents, foster parents, and adopting families. The teachers who care for their students 7 to 8 hours a day. It might not be completely altruistic. They get paid to do it but kids are difficult and they don’t always get paid enough.

I’m not trying to say it’s wrong to have kids or to want to have them. They very well could make this world a much better place. And a lot of children do just with their presence. It’s that very presence that drives us to have them in the first place and often times to have more. But just like giving is the selfish act of feeling good to help another. Having children falls into a similar category. It’s the selfish act of bringing yourself more joy and love and giving it in return.

Parents End Up Having To Become Selfless In The End.

The greatest mother I’ve ever known aside from my own, pointed out to me. The wanting and the having of children may be a selfish act but once they’re here they teach you to truly be selfless. Because raising a child is all about their needs while yours takes a back seat.

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