If You Believe Something Is Unconditional It’s Because You’ve Adapted To The Condition You’re In.
Change it and I assure you many emotions will diametrically rearrange. It might not feel so unconditional after all. Yes, we all love family unconditionally and I would argue that family is a condition we were born into. But have a family member lie, cheat, and steal from you. Or have them tell you they hate you enough times and leave never to return, those feelings of unconditional love may begin to waiver.
Challenges To Your Conditioning
You may love your spouse unconditionally or so that’s what you say. But have him leave the toilet set up one too many times. Or not take your side on certain issues. Worse yet, have him come home to tell you that he’s been sleeping with your sister and they’re in love and planning to eventually marry. That would challenge your unconditional love for both your spouse and your sister. The conditions you loved them both under, fundamentally changed for the worse and you now feel a different kind of strong emotion towards the both of them.
Some might say, “well I love Jesus, Buddha, God, Allah, Shiva (whatever your deity might be), unconditionally.” Well of course you do, they remain unchanging figures, the only way they change is in how you view them. They can’t actually do anything to you to cause you strife. If you blame them for some unforeseen hardships, the relationship than becomes conditional. And in that since you may end up cursing their names.
Why It’s Good To Have Conditions
We all want to believe that many things in our lives are unconditional. Love, trust, acceptance, devotion, respect. But we all have our biases, a construct of conditions that we can live with and those we can not.
How great it would be to receive all these things unconditionally but its the conditions that keep us in check, they keep us honest, they keep us from developing into a terrible human beings. If we received everything free without conditions we would value absolutely nothing. We could walk all over people with no regard for they’re feelings because their feelings wouldn’t matter, we know they’re unconditionally unchanging. Granted you you have to be a terrible person to take such advantage but you may be taught to do so if you keep messing up and you keep getting more chances. All I’m saying is we are all conditional beings and there is nothing wrong with that, it’s actually highly beneficial.
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